the resolve button next to your order becomes highlighted and you can click that for something like 18-26 days after the resolve button highlights. It's just for you and him to talk about a resolution and if decides not to interact with you for a week or so contact Silk Road about it...but if it was out of escrow, I don't see you getting Silk Road to give you a refund since it is out of Silk Road guidelines for site use. Out of Escrow means you take full responsibility for your actions, outcome good or bad. Good luck.